Are you a neurodivergent person who has felt overwhelmed by the act of getting out of bed? Does this seem to feel like you are climbing up a mountain?
Despite having a long list of items on your to-do list and (potentially) the desire to complete them, you may be feeling exhausted at even the thought of starting to chip away at them.
Do you constantly allocate your energy for the day, yet feel like you’re running on empty by mid-afternoon?
You likely know that managing your responsibilities is crucial, but this overwhelming fatigue can leave you frustrated and disengaged.
If you've ever felt like this, the spoon theory may be a strategic planning tool you can use to make sure you don’t run on empty.

In addition, seeking support can make a difference. A therapist or neurodivergent coach can help you develop strategies to manage your energy.
In this blog, we’ll explore the concept of Spoon Theory, its relevance to neurodivergence, effective strategies for energy management, and the importance of self-compassion in nurturing your well-being.
What is Neurodivergence?
The term neurodivergence was coined in 2000 by Kassiane Asasumasu, an autistic rights activist who noticed that there are non-autistic individuals who also experience differences in the way they navigate the world.
Asasumasu introduced "neurodivergent" as a non-medical term to describe individuals whose neurocognitive functioning varies in several ways from dominant societal expectations.
It's essential to recognize that neurodivergence is not merely a deficit or disorder but also encompasses a spectrum of experiences and abilities.
The spectrum of neurodivergence includes various conditions, including:
Tourette’s Syndrome
Learning disabilities like dyslexia
Medical conditions like multiple sclerosis (MS) and epilepsy
Other mental health conditions
Giftedness
Moreover, some identities, such as AuDHD (a combination of autism and ADHD), reflect combined neurodivergence.
Each of these conditions has its unique challenges in executive functioning, hygiene management, sensory processing, emotional regulation, and social communication.
The Connection Between Neurodivergence and the Spoon Theory
The Spoon Theory was introduced as a way to support individuals with chronic illness and pain. Here is how it was introduced:
Christine introduced the spoon theory concept during a college dinner when asked by a friend what living with chronic illnesses was like.
She handed her friend spoons and explained that, unlike most people who seem to have an endless supply of spoons (or energy), she had only 12 each day.
Every task—no matter how small—drains her supply, making her choices about energy usage critically important.
The Spoon Theory not only applies to individuals with chronic illnesses but also resonates with neurodivergent people who often face similar energy management challenges.
Neurodivergent individuals face a variety of challenges that can leave them starting their day with a depleted energy storage for tasks.
The Spoon Theory can serve as a way for neurodivergent and disabled individuals, and those with chronic illness and pain to, manage their capacity to perform everyday tasks and meet their longer-term goals.
It also helps people understand how energy is expended in daily life.
Dr. Fanaee expands on this concept, explaining that the Spoon Theory illustrates how individuals must budget their energy, similar to how someone might manage a limited financial budget.
This insight emphasizes that many with chronic illnesses or neurodivergent conditions need to balance fatigue against their daily responsibilities.
Neurodivergent Spoon Drawer
This framework can be particularly relevant for neurodivergent individuals.
Autistic individuals, ADHDers, and other neurodivergent folks may have more energy for certain tasks than others.
We may have more energy to do the laundry than we do to socialize. It is important to think of our spoon theory in such a way that we have different amounts of spoons depleted for different activities.
For instance, washing the dishes might cost 2 spoons while simply preparing a snack only requires 1.
Using this theory, neurodivergent individuals may be able to identify patterns in how they use energy for specific tasks.
For example, an autistic person may find they can manage household chores better than social interactions.
This allows neurodivergent individuals to articulate better to others which tasks may take up more energy, hopefully minimizing comments like, “You can do laundry. Why can’t you hang out with us?”
It also helps neurodivergent individuals with trying to predict energy levels based on specific activities. By conserving energy for the tasks that take up more energy, you can reduce the risk of fatigue and burnout.
The Boom-Crash Cycle: Understanding Changes in Energy
The Boom-Crash Cycle involves a pattern where you experience moments of enhanced productivity and energy followed by periods of profound exhaustion.
In these boom phases of this cycle, you might feel invincible and attempt to accomplish many tasks.
However, this tendency to overextend oneself can lead to a crash or a period of overwhelming fatigue and diminished capacity to engage in even simple tasks.
This can happen to anyone, but this cycle can be particularly pronounced for neurodivergent individuals.
You may push to make the most of good days to compensate for periods of low energy, and this often results in burnout.
Autistic Burnout
The Spoon Theory is better explained using autistic burnout.
This involves a period where an autistic individual experiences emotional and physical exhaustion.
The main symptoms experienced during this period of burnout include a loss of skills, an increased sensitivity to stimuli, and challenges with performing everyday tasks.
This burnout could occur from the exhaustion that occurs as a result of the demands of navigating a world that is not built for neurodivergence.
The Spoon Theory could be used here to maintain your energy levels by practicing self-compassion and creating environments that support your unique neurodivergent experiences and needs.
The Role of Self-Compassion and Kindness
One way in which you can navigate the challenges of neurodivergence that often deplete your energy is through self-compassion.
Self-compassion was developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, who is a pioneer in the study of this concept.
She includes three key components under the umbrella of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Each of these involves a shift away from something that we often struggle with:
Self-kindness involves a shift away from self-judgment: Self-kindness involves treating yourself with the same care that you would give a friend during a difficult time. Instead of being self-critical of yourself, you acknowledge your struggles without judging yourself. If you experience a period of low energy, you can practice treating yourself how you would a friend.
Common humanity involves a shift away from isolation: Common humanity recognizes what all humans go through and share in common. It recognizes that all humans go through suffering and may feel inadequate from time to time. When we remind ourselves that many individuals experience low energy levels, we can better understand ourselves as opposed to feeling isolated.
Mindfulness involves a shift away from over-identification: Mindfulness involves maintaining awareness of the present moment and our thoughts and feelings without being judgmental of them. When experiencing low energy, mindfulness would encourage you to be aware of these thoughts and feelings but not to continue to negatively fixate on them.
Self-Compassion Strategies for Energy Management
Every neurodivergent individual's experience with low energy levels is going to be different. One key strategy that I use is self-compassion. There are several strategies you could use for energy management, but here are just a few of them:
Acknowledge Your Unique Challenges: Recognize that each individual is going to experience different energy levels depending on the task, the time of day, or the day of the week. No two individuals are alike, and we all experience periods of low and high energy. When you are experiencing low-energy days, recognize that this is a common experience that all humans have and allow yourself to feel the way you do. If you can, don’t pressure yourself into trying to do any high-energy tasks during these periods.
Celebrate All Achievements: Every win, no matter how small you feel it may be, is worth celebrating. By celebrating every achievement along the way to completing a task, you can give yourself the motivation you may need to keep going. You also foster kindness for yourself.
Use Positive Affirmations: If you’re experiencing a period of low energy, acknowledge these feelings and offer comfort to yourself through the use of affirmations.
Connect with Your Community: Your energy levels can be significantly impacted by the people you interact with. If you interact with people that constantly drain your energy, consider getting a new circle. Instead, surround yourself with individuals who get you and don’t make you feel guilty if you need to take a break.
Habit Stacking and Its Benefits
Habit stacking involves pairing things together so that you are more likely to stick to a specific task that may be difficult for you.
You start by deciding what existing habit you want to link to a new habit that you aim to create.
Pairing these two tasks together makes it easier for you to form a new habit and integrate it into your routine on a daily basis.
For instance, if you already eat in the morning, you may stack this with taking your vitamins that you need to take.
This technique is helpful because:
It is easy to implement: You are just incorporating something into a routine that already exists so it shouldn’t take up much spoons.
It builds consistency: When you keep habits together, it helps with building a consistent routine that minimizes your need to think of the next task. This will reduce your cognitive load and ultimately your energy levels.
Additional Strategies for Energy Management
You may benefit from one or more of the following energy management techniques depending on your unique neurodivergent needs. Feel free to use the strategies from this list that apply to you and throw out the ones that don’t:
Set Boundaries: Saying no and setting boundaries is not easy. It is something that requires effort. However, once you are able to align what you do on a daily basis with what gives you the most energy and pleasure, you should see an improvement in your energy levels. For this reason, write down a list of at least three optional tasks that you don’t want to do anymore or want to do less of. For example: a family gathering. Practice saying no one time, and you will develop the confidence to continue to say no over time.
Develop a Routine: Anxiety is one thing that may deplete your energy levels. By establishing a routine, you can provide yourself with a sense of structure. If you reduce your anxiety levels, you can devote your energy to the task at hand rather than to managing your anxiety.
Energy Inventory: Keep a log of the number of spoons that specific tasks take up. You can use this as a guide so that you can identify what tasks to engage in on low-energy days versus what tasks to leave on high energy days.
Make a Prioritization Matrix: Identify the tasks in your list that are the most urgent and important versus those that are low on urgency and importance. Place tasks into one of four categories: high urgency/high importance, high urgency/low importance, high importance/low urgency, low importance/low urgency. Now, identify the tasks that will require the most versus the least energy in each of these. Use this to structure your day by focusing on the task with the highest urgency and highest importance first while keeping in mind your current energy levels.
Take Breaks and Use the Pomodoro Technique: One consequence of continuously operating on empty is burnout. This can be particularly true for neurodivergent folks. Regularly scheduling breaks can help you to prevent a crash.
Engage in Activities That Bring You Energy: If your mood and energy levels are low, dopamine is a neurotransmitter released during pleasurable activities that can enhance your energy levels and mood. You can choose any activities that bring you joy, such as mindfulness, drawing, light stretches, or listening to music.
Break Tasks Down: Doing a task all at once can feel overwhelming. The mere thought of completing a large task may cause you to lose energy and drain your energy. Instead of doing a task at one time, break this task into smaller, more manageable steps. You could break down cleaning your room into specific sections and take breaks in between each smaller task. This makes larger tasks more manageable and less energy depleting.
Energy Tracking: Use a journal log to identify the periods in the day and on which days you feel less drained. You can plan your tasks that demand the most energy from you on days or times when you are likely to have the most energy.
Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy and Coaching: Consider consulting with an online therapist or coach who specializes in helping individuals with energy management and neurodivergence.
Prioritize Sleep and Self-Care: When your energy is low, go back to the basics. Make sure you are getting an adequate amount of sleep, regular exercise, and all the essential nutrients you need. This will help you to work on restoring your energy levels.
Use Visual Reminders: ADHDers can forget things, and attempting to remember them can deplete energy in itself. You can use reminders to sort of do the remembering for you. You can also include simple notes, colorful charts, or inspirational quotes that encourage self-care and mindful energy management.
Develop a Self-Care Emergency Kit: When you are feeling low, try to remember to practice self-care. You can create an emergency kit that can be used during these periods to restore your energy levels. Some of the items you could include consist of soothing teas, scented candles, or soft blankets.
Book a Free Consultation with Blue Sky Learning
Are you facing challenges with energy management?
If you're seeking guidance on navigating your neurodivergent journey, consider booking a 20-minute free consultation with one of our experienced, neurodiversity-affirming therapists or coaches at Blue Sky Learning.
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