Neuronormativity and Masking: How Neurodivergent People Can Thrive Authentically
- Kaitlyn Boudreault
- Oct 25, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 23
Have you ever felt like you had to act a certain way to fit in, even when it didn’t feel natural? Do you feel as if your every thought, gesture, and word is scrutinized to ensure it aligns with societal expectations?
This is the reality for many neurodivergent individuals. The concept of neuronormativity, which is the belief that there is a "normal" or only one correct way for brains to function, often dictates how we perceive and interact with the world.
For those whose brains deviate, this pressure can create an environment where neurodivergent individuals feel compelled to mask their true selves.
Masking can lead to exhaustion, distress, and suicidal thoughts.
This masking and enforcement of neuronormativity not only harms neurodivergent individuals but also harms society as a whole. It prevents everyone from reaching their full potential.
This issue is especially prevalent within marginalized groups, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ communities, who face multiple layers of oppression.
A New Approach: Embracing Authenticity
But what if I told you that it doesn’t have to be this way? The solution lies in accommodating yourself to navigate the world authentically.
Rather than forcing yourself to accommodate the world by being something you are not, it's essential to explore ways to embrace your strengths.
If navigating these pressures feels overwhelming, you don’t have to do it alone. Working with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist or coach can help you recognize and embrace your authentic self.
This blog will guide you in understanding neuronormativity, masking, and practical strategies for navigating a world built around neurotypical expectations.
What Is Neurodiversity and Why It Matters in a Neuronormative World?
Neurodiversity is the concept that every brain thinks, interacts with, and perceives the world in its own unique way. Embracing neurodiversity means embracing that these differences contribute to a richer, more diverse world.
An extension of this term is neurodivergent, which refers to those whose cognitive functioning diverges from the standards of neuronormativity.
Dyspraxia
Tourette’s syndrome
Advocates of the neurodiversity-affirming model, including Kassiane Asasumasu, seek to challenge the notion that one way of functioning is superior. We instead believe that every brain serves a purpose.
What Is Masking in neurodivergence?
Consider a chameleon in a rainforest, which changes its colours to blend into its environment to avoid predators. This is akin to the concept of masking among neurodivergent individuals.
Masking involves altering your behaviour to conform to societal expectations, often leading to feelings of isolation and disconnection from your true self.
It is not just about suppressing stims or forcing eye contact. It's a complex process of constantly monitoring and adjusting one's behaviour to fit in. This can include mimicking facial expressions, scripting conversations, or suppressing natural reactions.
While it may provide short-term relief from societal judgment, the long-term effects can be detrimental. Studies have shown that masking is associated with increased levels of anxiety, depression, and burnout among neurodivergent individuals.
Why Do Neurodivergent People Mask Their Traits?
It may serve as a protective mechanism that is similar to that of a chameleon hiding from its prey, helping individuals:
Avoid negative attention (such as when we stim)
Improve employment opportunities
Make friends
Hide discomfort
Prevent awkward social interactions.
Prevent themselves from experiencing rejection-sensitive dysphoria.
Consequences of Masking for Neurodivergent Individuals
Despite the potential protective benefits here, the practice of masking isn't without consequences. The toll on mental and physical health can manifest as:
Frequent shutdowns and meltdowns
Mental health challenges
Physical health issues
Feelings of isolation
According to research, chronic masking can contribute to higher rates of anxiety and depression in autistic adults.
Thankfully, a neurodivergent coach could support you in developing strategies to navigate the neurotypical world more authentically.
NEURODIVERGENCE AND ACCOMMODATIONS
As a community of neurodivergent individuals, we aim to dismantle the myth that there is a "normal" way of functioning.
Instead, we believe everyone functions in their own unique way, and this diversity makes the world thrive.
Despite this recognition, the current societal structure can make being neurodivergent exhausting. It can result in sensory challenges, emotional dysregulation, communication issues, forgetfulness, and anxiety around waiting.
Ways to Accommodate Yourself
To support yourself while navigating a neurodivergent world, consider accommodations. These accommodations generally apply to the concept of disability.
It involves any change or adjustment in the environment or working terms to allow someone to fully participate and succeed within the workplace, school, or community.
Some examples of accommodations include:
Sensory Needs: Neurodivergent individuals may be overstimulated in some situations. Use noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting, or sensory-safe spaces to manage overstimulation. Alternatively, some individuals may benefit from stimulation through music or fidget toys.
Emotional Regulation: Implement relaxation techniques if feeling dysregulated, such as spending time in a quiet environment, naming the emotion to tame it, engaging in enjoyable activities, or using online therapy.
Set boundaries: As a neurodivergent individual, you likely have fewer spoons (energy units) than individuals who are not neurodivergent. As a result, you may need to accommodate yourself by recognizing this and setting boundaries with yourself for how much you can handle. For instance, you may need to tell yourself that you can only complete 2 tasks, so anything that is beyond this needs to take a raincheck.
Communication and Location Preferences: Utilize the communication methods and location of work that work best for you. Don’t feel guilty for having communication and work needs that may differ from societal norms. It is okay to not make eye contact, use code words to communicate your needs, work remotely, or communicate in writing.
Body Doubling: Invite a friend, family member, or coach to work alongside you, providing motivation and accountability when tackling tasks.
Create Predictability: Use a calendar and schedule out each month in advance for personal hygiene tasks. You could also structure or visualize the day ahead or look at key things in advance, such as the price or your options on a menu.
Related: Neurodiversity in the Workplace
Book a Free Consultation With Blue Sky Learning
Are you currently feeling the weight of masking in a neurotypical world? Do you often face challenges like sensory overload, burnout, or low self-esteem?
Book a free 20-minute consultation with one of Blue Sky Learning’s expert neurodivergent therapists or coaches. Together, you will come up with a personalized approach to support your individual needs and help you thrive authentically.
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