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Understanding Neuronormativity: Masking in a Neurotypical World and Embracing Neurodiversity

Writer's picture: Kaitlyn BoudreaultKaitlyn Boudreault

Updated: Dec 28, 2024

Have you ever come across the concept of neuronormativity? If it's new to you, that’s perfectly okay. 


In simple terms, neuronormativity refers to a set of societal expectations and beliefs about how individuals should function.


These standards suggest that there is only one correct way to operate, often pressuring those who deviate from these norms to conform.


This pressure can create an environment where neurodivergent individuals feel compelled to mask their true selves, presenting a facade that hides their neurodivergence.


Often known as masking, this practice can lead to exhaustion, distress, and suicidal thoughts.



This masking and enforcement of neuronormativity not only harms neurodivergent individuals but also harms society as a whole. It prevents everyone from reaching their full potential.


This issue is especially prevalent within marginalized groups, BIPOC and LGBTQ+ communities, who face multiple layers of oppression. 


A New Approach: Embracing Authenticity


But what if I told you that it doesn’t have to be this way? The solution lies in allowing neurodivergent individuals to accommodate themselves to navigate the world authentically.


Rather than forcing yourself to accommodate the world by being something you are not, it's essential to explore ways to embrace your strengths.


At Blue Sky Learning, they have neurodiversity-affirming therapists and coaches to support this journey. This blog serves as a guide to understanding masking and navigating the neurotypical world.


WHAT IS NEURODIVERSITY? 


Neurodiversity is the concept that every brain thinks, interacts with, and perceives the world in its own unique way. Embracing neurodiversity means embracing that these differences contribute to a richer, more diverse world.


An extension of this term is neurodivergent, which refers to those whose cognitive functioning diverges from the standards of neuronormativity. Examples of neurodivergent conditions include:



Conversely, a neurotypical brain aligns with societal standards surrounding functioning.


Advocates of the neurodiversity-affirming model seek to challenge the notion that one way of functioning is superior. We instead believe that every brain serves a purpose.


WHAT IS MASKING? 


Consider a chameleon in a rainforest, which changes its colours to blend into its environment to avoid predators.


This is akin to the concept of masking among neurodivergent individuals.


Masking involves altering your behaviour to conform to societal expectations, often leading to feelings of isolation and disconnection from your true self.


Why Do Neurodivergent People Mask?


It may serve as a protective mechanism that is similar to that of a chameleon hiding from its prey, helping individuals:


  • Avoid negative attention (such as when we stim)

  • Improve employment opportunities 

  • Make friends

  • Hide discomfort 

  • Prevent awkward social interactions

  • Prevent themselves from experiencing rejection-sensitive dysphoria


WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF MASKING?


Despite the potential protective benefits here, the practice of masking isn't without consequences. The toll on mental and physical health can manifest as:


  • Frequent shutdowns and meltdowns

  • Burnout

  • Mental health challenges

  • Physical health issues

  • Task paralysis

  • Low self-esteem

  • Feelings of isolation


Neurodivergent individuals may experience shame when unable to conform with neuronormativity. This can create a sense of stress and feelings of inadequacy.


Thankfully, a coach could support you in developing strategies to navigate the neurotypical world in a more authentic way. 


If you are looking to explore taking this route but are anxious to start, this guide for seeking neurodiversity-affirming therapy or coaching may be of support.


NEURODIVERGENCE AND ACCOMMODATIONS


As a community of neurodivergent individuals, we aim to dismantle the myth that there is a "normal" way of functioning.


Instead, we believe everyone functions in their own unique way, and this diversity makes the world thrive. 


Despite this recognition, the current societal structure can make being neurodivergent exhausting. It can result in sensory challenges, emotional dysregulation, communication issues, forgetfulness, and anxiety around waiting.


Ways to Accommodate Yourself


To support yourself while navigating a neurodivergent world, consider accommodations. These accommodations generally apply to the concept of disability.


It involves any change or adjustment in the environment or working terms to allow someone to fully participate and succeed within the workplace, school, or community. 


Some examples of accommodations include:


  • Sensory Needs: Neurodivergent individuals may be overstimulated in some situations and need items that will support them in tuning out or reducing this sensory information. Use noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting, or sensory-safe spaces to manage overstimulation. Alternatively, some individuals may benefit from stimulation through music or fidget toys.

  • Emotional Regulation: When feeling dysregulated, it is difficult to get your nervous system to go back to normal. Implement relaxation techniques if feeling dysregulated, such as spending time in a quiet environment, naming the emotion to tame it, or engaging in enjoyable activities. Online therapy may also be of support for emotional dysregulation.

  • Communication and Location Preferences: Utilize the communication methods and location of work that work best for you. Don’t feel guilty for having communication and work needs that may differ from societal norms. It is okay to not give eye contact, use code words to communicate your needs, work remotely, or communicate in writing.

  • Body Doubling: You may struggle with starting, staying focused on, or completing tasks. To accommodate this, invite a friend, family member, or coach to work alongside you, providing motivation and accountability when tackling tasks.

  • Create Predictability: Some neurodivergent individuals may struggle with the thought of change. To navigate this, you could focus on creating a sense of predictability. This could be done in several ways. You could use a calendar and schedule out each month in advance for personal hygiene tasks. You could also structure or visualize the day ahead or look at key things in advance, such as the price or your options on a menu. 

  • Set boundaries: As a neurodivergent individual, you likely have fewer spoons (energy units) than individuals who are not neurodivergent. As a result, you may need to accommodate yourself by recognizing this and setting boundaries with yourself for how much you can handle. For instance, you may need to tell yourself that you can only complete 2 tasks, so anything that is beyond this needs to take a raincheck.



Book a Free Consultation With Blue Sky Learning


Are you currently feeling the weight of masking in a neurotypical world? Do you often face challenges like sensory overload, burnout, or low self-esteem?


Book a free 20-minute consultation with one of Blue Sky Learning’s expert neurodivergent therapists or coaches. Together, you will come up with a personalized approach to support your individual needs and help you thrive authentically.







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​​Dana Daniels (she/her), M.Ed., OCT,  Founder and CEO I acknowledge my positionality and privilege in the world & actively uphold my allyship responsibilities for social justice & change.

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