Generalized Anxiety Disorder Doesn’t Have a Single Look: Understanding Hidden Struggles

When you think of generalized anxiety disorder, what first comes to mind for you?

For many people, generalized anxiety disorder may bring up an image of someone who is visibly stressed at all times. Maybe you see their fidgeting hands or sweaty palms, or perhaps you hear their shallowed breaths. 

These images of anxiety generally result from media portrayals, which tend to emphasize the outward signs of anxiety. This creates a narrow picture of what anxiety should look like. 

But the reality is that it is far more complex than this. 

Generalized anxiety disorder impacts about 3.7% of people globally, and for many of these individuals, it can also manifest in more subtle, quiet, and invisible ways. 

Someone who may seem calm, collected, or “fine” on the outside may be navigating intense worry, muscle tension, and nervous system dysregulation internally. 

At Blue Sky Learning, the team of neurodiversity-affirming therapists in Ontario, Canada, works with individuals navigating anxiety in all its diverse forms. 

They believe in diving beneath the surface to understand the full picture of each individual's anxiety. 

As you navigate this blog, we’ll explore common myths about anxiety, uncover the hidden realities behind them, and highlight strategies for supporting anxiety.

Related: The Ultimate Guide to Preparing for Your First Therapy or Coaching Session

Anxiety Myths Versus Reality

Anxiety is a complex mental health condition that involves both psychological and physiological symptoms. 

Below, we’ll dive into the most common misconceptions about what anxiety looks like. These myths can invalidate lived experiences and prevent people from seeking or receiving support. 

We’ll also uncover the truth behind anxiety and the hidden realities that often go unnoticed. 

❌ Myth #1: A person who looks fine can’t have anxiety.

Many people mistakenly assume that anxiety symptoms will always show externally. Media portrayals of anxiety show a person visibly sweating, panting, or running in fear. Because of this, if a person doesn’t appear visibly stressed, there is an assumption that the person isn’t struggling. 

✅ Truth

Many people with generalized anxiety disorder hide their symptoms by trying to appear calm, smile, or engage in a busy routine. These individuals have learned to hide or manage their anxiety to fit in socially. As a result, a person may look fine or outwardly calm, but they may be experiencing significant mental and physical stress. Anxiety is not always a matter of visible signs. It can exist entirely internally.

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Racing thoughts in their mind that are looping through the worst-case scenarios

• Internal pressure to perform or appear “normal” despite intense worry

• Exhaustion from maintaining a composed exterior

  
  

❌ Myth #2: Anxiety is all in a person’s head. 

Some individuals believe that anxiety is not real or that it is just psychological in nature. They assume that anxiety can be controlled by willpower if a person just stops overthinking. This can result in them telling individuals with anxiety to “just get over it” or “think positively.”

✅ Truth

The symptoms of anxiety are not just psychological, and it isn’t something that people choose. Anxiety is real, measurable, and sometimes overwhelming, and there are physiological, cognitive, and neurological symptoms that result from anxiety. A person experiencing anxiety may have a difficult time remembering things or concentrating. They may also experience a racing heart or tension in their chest. It’s not “all in your head.” Your brain and body are responding to perceived threats, whether external or internal.

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Elevated heart rate or rapid breathing

• Difficulty sleeping due to intrusive thoughts

• Physical fatigue caused by hypervigilance

• Nervous system hyperarousal that persists even when no danger is present

  
  

❌ Myth #3: People with anxiety just need to relax more.

This assumption is one of the most pervasive misconceptions surrounding generalized anxiety disorder. Many people assume that those with generalized anxiety disorder can just get rid of anxiety by telling themselves to relax or that relaxation techniques, meditation, or deep breaths are a cure-all for anxiety.

✅ Truth

While relaxation strategies may help to manage the symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, the treatment for anxiety is different for everyone. Relaxation isn’t a magic switch. It’s one tool among many that anxious individuals use to navigate the world. Some people can manage with relaxation techniques, while others need therapy, medications, and other treatments. Generalized anxiety disorder isn’t just something you will power away, and it requires effort and ongoing treatment. 

🔍 What You Don’t See

• The mental energy spent anticipating triggers

• The constant rehearsal of coping strategies

• The emotional labour involved in staying functional despite fear.

• The repeated internal coaching and self-talk required to stay grounded

  
  

❌ Myth #4: People with anxiety just need to be more confident.

Just like relaxation techniques, confidence is often assumed to be the antidote for worrying, panic, and generalized anxiety disorder. People wrongfully assume that those who are confident, successful, or high-achieving cannot possibly have an anxiety disorder. 

✅ Truth

Two things that are seemingly opposite can exist at the same time. Confidence does not prevent anxiety, just as having generalized anxiety disorder doesn’t mean that a person isn’t also confident. People can present as self-assured while internally navigating intense worry. There are many confident individuals who experience worry, panic, and anxiety-related symptoms. 

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Hours of preparation and planning to avoid mistakes

• Overthinking social or professional interactions

• Avoidance strategies to prevent situations from becoming overwhelming

• Mental rehearsal of multiple scenarios to reduce perceived risk

  
  

❌ Myth #5: Facing your fears alone will get rid of the anxiety.

There is a common assumption that the cure for anxiety is just to face your fears alone. People assume that a person can just willpower their way through this condition. 

✅ Truth

While exposure to your fears may be helpful, it is not something that should be faced alone. It is something that requires guidance or support. Simply trying to face your fears without support may actually increase anxiety and reinforce avoidance. Generalized anxiety disorder is a nervous system response that needs safety and gradual practice, not fast exposure that shocks your nervous system. 

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Planning exposures carefully with coping strategies

• The physical and mental toll of stepping into fear

• Self-criticism when progress is slow

• Anxiety spikes that aren’t failures but part of the process

  
  

❌ Myth #6: People with anxiety are weak or fragile.

Many people assume that experiencing worry or anxiety means that you are emotionally fragile and sensitive. If an individual with anxiety withdraws from a situation, hesitates, or appears overwhelmed, others may misinterpret these behaviours as a sign of weakness. 

✅ Truth

This misconception ignores the mental, emotional, and physical effort required to function while living with generalized anxiety disorder. Anxiety is not a character flaw, a lack of resilience, or a sign of weakness. In fact, living with generalized anxiety disorder requires strength. Individuals with anxiety navigate work, school, relationships, and daily responsibilities while managing persistent internal stress.

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Perseverance despite racing thoughts or panic

• Emotional labor required to mask anxiety at work or school

• Courage in seeking help and advocating for oneself

  
  

❌ Myth #7: People with anxiety just want to avoid everything.

It’s commonly assumed that individuals with anxiety just fake their symptoms to avoid responsibilities, conversations, or challenging situations. This belief also stems from the idea that if a person experiences fear, they will automatically avoid things. 

✅ Truth

Anxiety consists of many symptoms. While avoidance can be a symptom of anxiety, it is not something that everyone with anxiety experiences. There are many individuals with anxiety who face stressful situations daily, even while experiencing fear and anxiety. If someone can’t face a situation, it isn’t because they aren’t trying to participate. It is simply because the anxiety is so overwhelming that it is preventing participation. 

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Hours of preparation and rehearsal before facing tasks

• Energy spent managing fear while still performing.

• Hidden routines to stay functional under stress

  
  

❌ Myth #8: Children with anxiety are being dramatic.

There is a common assumption that children can’t experience anxiety or that if a kid experiences anxiety, they should be expected to bounce back easily. When a child cries, freezes, or has a meltdown, adults may think that this is overreacting or trying to get attention. 

✅ Truth

This misconception minimizes childhood anxiety, which is very real and manifests differently than in adults. Kids experience anxiety just as adults do, but they may lack the vocabulary to explain what’s happening internally. As a result, anxiety shows up in behaviour, and what looks like “drama” or “defiance” may actually be fear, overwhelm, or a dysregulated nervous system. 

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Nighttime fears or worry about family safety

• Difficulty concentrating due to racing thoughts

• Physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches tied to stress

  
  

❌ Myth #9: You can’t have anxiety if you are a straight-A student. 

This myth stems from the common misconception that generalized anxiety disorder always results in weak academic performance. Many people believe that if you are performing well in school, you can’t be struggling with your mental health. 

✅ Truth

Despite this common myth, the reality is that many individuals with anxiety excel academically. This doesn’t mean that their anxiety symptoms are absent. They may instead be working twice as hard to manage anxiety and stay on top of their schoolwork. Those with anxiety may overcompensate through perfectionism, people-pleasing, or fear-driven motivation. Being on top of things involves obsessing over details and staying up late to rewrite papers to prevent rejection, often tied to rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).

🔍 What You Don’t See

• Mental exhaustion from constant internal monitoring

• Obsessive attention to detail to prevent mistakes

• Physical burnout from pushing beyond comfort limits

  
  

Related: Creating Neurodiversity-Affirming Classrooms: Inclusive Strategies to Support Neurodivergent Students

Subtle Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety doesn’t always show up in an individual's outward appearance. Some subtle signs include:

• Difficulty concentrating despite appearing focused

• Perfectionism and over-preparation

• Avoidance of situations perceived as stressful

• Irritability, low patience, or restlessness

• Physical symptoms: muscle tension, stomach upset, fatigue

  
  

The subtle signs of anxiety are often misunderstood and overlooked. This is especially true for those who appear to function or perform well. Using these signs to recognize anxiety can help to validate the experiences of those who live with generalized anxiety disorder in more subtle ways. 

Anxiety in Neurodivergent Individuals

Generalized anxiety disorder is quite common with other neurotypes such as ADHD, autism, or sensory processing differences. For these neurodivergent individuals, the symptoms of anxiety may be exacerbated or look different. These symptoms may include:

• Hyperfocus on worst-case scenarios

• Overstimulation in social or sensory environments

• Heightened emotional responses

• Difficulty masking anxious thoughts without burnout

  
  

Related: What Is Neurodivergence? Embracing Neurodiversity & Thriving as Your Authentic Self

Strategies for Managing Hidden Anxiety

Anxiety can feel overwhelming. But there are ways to manage it and reduce its impact on your day-to-day functioning. 

1. Self-Awareness

Building awareness of your symptoms of anxiety and what triggers these symptoms is a key step to managing anxiety. Self-awareness involves tracking your triggers and noticing the patterns that influence how and when your anxiety shows up. You may also want to pay attention to the physical, emotional, and cognitive signs that an anxiety attack may be about to occur. This may include racing thoughts or difficulty focusing. Understanding your triggers can help you respond with supportive strategies when you feel overwhelmed. 

2. Mindful Practices

Mindfulness involves the practice of present-moment awareness. You notice your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without allowing them to consume you or judging yourself for experiencing them. Some mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise, can slow the body’s stress response. These techniques also reduce the intensity of anxious thoughts by helping you stay connected to the present moment instead of the future. 

3. Cognitive Strategies

Journaling can help to provide a space for your anxious thoughts to go. You can use cognitive reframing, which involves gently challenging or restructuring your catastrophic thoughts so that you shift your perspective to one that is more balanced. 

4. Environmental Adjustments

Sometimes the environment can trigger anxiety-related symptoms for some people. This is especially common for neurodivergent individuals who get overwhelmed by too much sensory information coming through their senses. If this is the case for you, creating a supportive environment may help to reduce anxiety. This environment could involve adjustments like noise-cancelling headphones, fidget tools, or reducing clutter. Establishing predictable routines, schedules, and structure can also help to decrease uncertainty and make it easier to manage overwhelming feelings. 

5. Professional Support

If your anxiety is not supported through lifestyle changes alone, professional support can also help to navigate anxiety. Certain forms of counselling, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, or other neurodiversity-affirming approaches, can provide strategies tailored to your needs. For some individuals, medication recommended by a healthcare professional can also reduce symptoms and improve overall functioning.

Book a Free Consultation

Are you experiencing the symptoms of anxiety?

Do you feel as if you have to be the strong one and push through your anxiety despite the fact that you are struggling internally?

If any of this resonates, know that you don’t have to manage this alone. 

Blue Sky Learning can support you with neurodiversity-affirming therapy to help you manage anxiety and live a more fulfilling life. 

Book a free 20-minute consultation by emailing hello@blueskylearning.ca or visiting our website to see if we are a fit to work together.

Book a Free Consultation

References

American Psychological Association. (2023). Understanding Anxiety Disorders. APA Publishing.

Bandelow, B., & Michaelis, S. (2015). Epidemiology of anxiety disorders in adults. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 17(3), 327–335.

Craske, M. G., Stein, M. B., Eley, T. C., et al. (2017). Anxiety disorders. Nature Reviews Disease Primers, 3(17024).

Hoge, E. A., Bui, E., Palitz, S. A., et al. (2013). The effect of mindfulness meditation training on biological markers of stress and emotional regulation. JAMA Psychiatry, 70(5), 533–540.