Emotional Dysregulation: Understanding and Managing Intense Emotions
- Kaitlyn Boudreault
- May 2
- 9 min read
Updated: May 6
As humans, we all experience a wide variety of emotions, including happiness, anger, sadness, and frustration. These feelings are natural and a normal part of not being a robot.
But sometimes we may experience these emotions too intensely to the point where they can become difficult to control.
If you feel as if your emotions are frequently out of control, intense, and unpredictable to the point where you engage in impulsive actions, you may be experiencing emotional dysregulation.
For many neurodivergent individuals and those with mental health challenges, emotional dysregulation is a common phenomenon.
Recognizing how emotional dysregulation may show up could help you to seek support, including from a neurodiversity-affirming therapist or coach.
Let’s delve into what emotional dysregulation entails, its causes, how it affects daily life, and some practical strategies for managing it effectively.
What Is Emotional Dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation is a state that impacts how you experience and manage your emotions and is characterized by an inability to regulate or control your emotional responses.
An individual experiencing emotional dysregulation has emotional responses that are intense, prolonged, or inappropriate to the situation. These experiences may lead to significant changes in your mood or emotional lability.
While emotional dysregulation may be more common in childhood, emotional dysregulation can also occur in adulthood.
Imagine your emotions as a volume dial. You can increase or decrease the volume on the remote when you need to.
For instance, if your surroundings are causing you to feel overwhelmed, you may decide to leave the situation, or you can reduce the volume on your emotional responses by engaging in coping strategies.
But for those with emotional dysregulation, this dial is often stuck at a high volume, and it becomes increasingly difficult to regulate your emotional responses.
As a result, emotional dysregulation may lead to:
An inability to function.
Examples of Emotional Dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation may look different depending on the person, but here are some common ways emotional dysregulation might manifest:
Intense anger, frustration, or irritability, even when the situation doesn’t warrant it.
Sudden mood swings where you feel euphoric one minute and sad the next.
Impulsive behaviors like yelling, shouting, or physical outbursts in response to small frustrations
Crying uncontrollably over small disappointments
Anxiety spiraling out of control when experiencing mild stressors
Feelings of emotional numbness
Difficulty calming down after an emotional trigger
Acting impulsively to relieve emotional pain (e.g., self-harm, risky behaviors)
Signs of Emotional Dysregulation
A core aspect of emotional dysregulation is experiencing emotions intensely and out of proportion to the situation that triggered them. You also have a difficult time regulating these emotions and may act impulsively as a result.
Other signs of emotional dysregulation will mostly show up in the way you speak and act and can include:
Rapid mood swings
Difficulty calming down once you feel dysregulated
Overreaction to everyday stressors
Impulsive behaviors when experiencing emotional dysregulation
Feeling overwhelmed or “flooded” by feelings (emotional flooding)
Persistent feelings of anger, sadness, or anxiety
Self-blame or guilt after emotional outbursts
Avoidance of emotional situations or social interactions
Physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweating, or stomach aches during emotional distress
Challenges in forming or maintaining relationships due to emotional volatility
What Causes Emotional Dysregulation?
There is no one clear-cut cause for emotional dysregulation. But researchers believe that emotional dysregulation is multifaceted and likely occurs due to a unique interplay between neurological, psychological, and environmental factors.
When we do know the cause of emotional dysregulation, it tends to be one of the ones listed below.
Neurodivergence: ADHD, autism, bipolar disorder, and other neurotypes are strongly associated with intense emotional challenges, including emotional dysregulation.
Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences: Early trauma, neglect, or emotional invalidation and abandonment can lead to challenges with emotional regulation.
Brain Structure and Function: Differences in the amygdala, which is the emotional processing center, and the prefrontal cortex, which is the impulse control center, can lead to more emotional than rational responses.
Genetics: If you have a family history of emotional dysregulation, this may increase your risk of experiencing it.
Mental Health Conditions: Depression, anxiety, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, and OCD often involve challenges with emotional regulation.
Substance Use and Brain Injury: Alcohol, drugs, or traumatic brain injuries can disrupt neural pathways that are linked to emotional regulation, which can cause an inability to regulate your emotions properly.
Neurodivergence Link to Emotional Dysregulation
Now that you understand the various causes for emotional dysregulation, we can explore further how each neurotype is closely linked with emotional dysregulation.
ADHD: Impulsivity and emotional impulsiveness are hallmark features for ADHDers.
Autism: Heightened emotional sensitivity and difficulty managing sensory overload are key traits that autistic individuals may experience.
Bipolar Disorder: Emotional dysregulation can show up as extreme mood swings, where you change back and forth between mania (high moods with euphoria) to depression (low mood states).
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Core features of BPD are related to emotional dysregulation, including an intense fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, and emotional outbursts.
PTSD and Complex PTSD: Flashbacks and hyperarousal can cause emotional flooding, which can make it difficult to regulate your emotions.
Depression: Persistent low mood can increase your risk of emotional instability.
Anxiety Disorders: A persistent state of anxiety can lead to the inability to regulate your emotions. .
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Rituals and intrusive thoughts can trigger emotional distress.
The Brain in Emotional Dysregulation for Neurodivergent Folks
Neurodivergent brains have some structural and functional differences that influence how emotions are experienced. Some key areas of the brain involved in emotional dysregulation include:
The Amygdala: This brain area is involved in emotional responses. When hyperactive or over-responsive to emotional stimuli, which is sometimes the case for neurodivergent individuals, it can lead to heightened emotional reactions as opposed to rational decisions.
The Prefrontal Cortex: Involved in impulse control and regulating your emotions, this brain is less active for some neurodivergent individuals, which can cause an individual to have a reduced ability to control their emotions.
Neurotransmitter Imbalances: Changes to the neurotransmitters in the brain (dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine) can contribute to mood instability.
The Impact of Emotional Dysregulation
If you experience emotional responses every once in a while, this likely isn’t something to worry about. Some level of emotional responses is normal.
However, if this emotional dysregulation persists, it could significantly affect your daily life in various aspects, including:
Relationships: Frequent conflicts, misunderstandings, and emotional withdrawal.
Work and School: Difficulty concentrating, impulsivity, and emotional outbursts impair performance.
Mental Health: Increased risk of depression, anxiety, and substance misuse.
Self-Esteem: Feelings of shame, guilt, and frustration over uncontrollable emotions.
Physical Health: Chronic stress can lead to headaches, fatigue, and somatic complaints.
What Are the Treatment Methods for Emotional Dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation isn’t something that should be managed with a single treatment method. A multimodal approach may work best and could include
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Teaches mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal skills—especially effective for BPD and severe dysregulation.
Neurodiversity-Affirming Counselling: Focuses on accepting neurodivergent traits and developing personalized coping strategies aligned with your neurodivergent brain.
Brainspotting Therapy: Locating spots in your visual field that correlate with emotional distress and using eye movements to access and process these experiences.
Executive Function Coaching: Builds skills in planning, organization, and emotion regulation tailored to neurodiverse needs.
Medication: Consult with your doctor or medical professional to determine what medication may be right for you.
Strategies for Managing Emotional Dysregulation
Various strategies exist to support you in managing emotional dysregulation.
Discover more about these strategies below.
Practice the F.O.U.L Method
This technique is an acronym used to manage your feelings when you are dealing with difficult situations. It works as follows:
Fact-Check: Step back and try to differentiate between facts and assumptions. Sometimes, facts may fuel your emotions. At others, assumptions might be pushing you to act rashly.
Opposite Urge: If your emotions are based on assumptions, carry out the opposite action to what these thoughts are telling you. For example, if you feel like someone is criticizing you, instead of responding with a snarky comment, ask them to explain instead.
Leave: When your anger becomes unbearable, remove yourself from the situation.
Practice the R.A.I.N Technique
The R.A.I.N. technique is an acronym that involves using mindfulness to help you understand and process your intense emotions so that you can get to a point where you feel calm. It involves:
Recognize: Identify what you’re feeling and name the emotion.
Allow: Accept that your feelings are there and don’t try to suppress them or judge yourself for having them. Just allow them to be present.
Investigate: Gently explore what triggered your emotion and how it’s affecting you. Be curious rather than critical.
Nurture: Detach your sense of self from the experience.
Use the STOP Method Before Acting
The STOP method is a four-step technique that allows you to take a step back from the situation and reflect before you act on your impulsive thoughts. It works like this:
Stop: Pause immediately when you notice strong emotions coming up.
Take a Breath: Inhale and then exhale deeply to calm your nervous system.
Observe: Notice what you’re feeling physically and mentally. Recognize the emotion and any thoughts involved.
Proceed: Act mindfully, based on awareness rather than impulse.
Apply Visualize and Grounding Techniques
Visualizing peaceful scenes or happy memories during stressful moments can help reduce anxiety and bring a sense of calm. Engage your senses to stay grounded and calm:
Visualize a Calm Scene: Close your eyes and imagine a peaceful place—like a beach or forest. Focus on details: sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures.
Use Grounding: Focus on the present by identifying five things you see, four you feel, three you hear, two you smell, and one you taste.
Develop a Personal Emotional Toolkit
Engaging your senses through aromatherapy, textured objects, or calming visuals can help ground you during intense emotional episodes. When you are feeling overwhelmed, come up with a list of items that may support you. These could include:
Listening to uplifting music or nature sounds.
Engaging in a favorite hobby or activity.
Using sensory objects like stress balls or textured fabrics.
Practicing deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation.
Writing in a journal to process feelings.
Repeating affirmations to reinforce self-compassion.
Additional Strategies for Emotional Dysregulation
Move Regularly: Exercise releases endorphins and reduces stress. Even short walks or gentle stretching help regulate emotions.
Write a List of Positive Affirmations: Phrases like “I am capable,” “I am enough,” or “This feeling will pass” can help counteract negative self-talk.
Limit Exposure to Negative News or Social Media: Constant exposure to negative or sensationalized media can heighten stress and emotional dysregulation. Set boundaries around your media consumption, which could include scheduled breaks or choosing uplifting content.
Establish Consistent Routines: Having predictable routines provides structure and reduces unpredictability, which can be a trigger for emotional dysregulation. Consistency in daily activities, sleep, and self-care creates a safe environment where your brain knows what to expect, which can help reduce emotional responses.
Set Daily Intentions or Goals: Begin each day with clear intentions or small goals to help create a sense of purpose and stability. Set realistic, manageable objectives to focus on what you can control.
Engage in Creative Outlets: Expressing yourself through art, music, dance, or writing can serve as a healthy emotional release. Creative activities help process feelings, reduce stress, and foster a sense of accomplishment and joy, which can counteract feelings of overwhelm.
Practice Gratitude Daily: Take a few moments each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This practice can boost mood, increase positive emotions, and make it easier to handle difficult feelings.
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large or complex tasks can trigger anxiety and emotional overwhelm. Breaking them into smaller, manageable steps makes things feel more achievable and reduces the likelihood of emotional flooding or frustration.
Use Timers or Alarms: Setting timers to check in with your emotional state can increase awareness of rising distress. When the timer goes off, pause to assess how you’re feeling and decide whether to continue, rest, or use a calming technique.
Incorporate Humour or Laughter: Laughter is a natural mood booster and stress reducer. Watching a funny video, sharing jokes, or engaging in playful activities can lift your spirits and help you regain emotional equilibrium.
Seek Social Support: Connect with trusted friends, family members, or support groups for emotional validation and practical advice. Share your feelings with others to lighten your emotional load and help you feel less isolated.
Keep a Feelings Journal: Writing about your emotions, triggers, and reactions can help you identify patterns over time. This awareness allows you to develop personalized coping strategies and recognize early signs of emotional escalation.
Be Kind to Yourself: When emotions run high, treat yourself with the same compassion as you would a friend. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and remind yourself that it’s okay to struggle.
Prioritize Sleep Hygiene: Quality sleep is vital for emotional regulation. Establish a calming bedtime routine, avoid screens before bed, and maintain a consistent sleep schedule to improve your mood and reduce emotional reactivity.
When to Reach Out for Professional Help
If you experience emotional reactions from time to time, this is likely not something to worry about.
But if the emotional dysregulation is significantly impacting your daily life, such that you are experiencing persistent mood swings, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, or an inability to manage your routines, professional support is essential.
Therapies like DBT, neurodiversity-affirming counseling, and coaching can equip you with tailored skills to manage intense emotions. Medication may also be prescribed.
Remember, you don’t have to face this alone—help is available, and recovery or improved management is possible.
Book a Free Consultation With Blue Sky Learning
Do you feel overwhelmed by your emotions? Are your emotional experiences intense to the point where they are impacting your daily life?
Blue Sky Learning has a team of neurodiversity-affirming therapists and coaches that can support you.
Book a free 20-minute consultation with one of Blue Sky Learning's expert neurodiversity-affirming therapists or coaches to come up with a personalized plan that suits your individual needs.
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