Stimming for neurodivergent individuals: A Neurodiversity-Affirming Guide
- Kaitlyn Boudreault
- Jul 4
- 7 min read
Have you ever been so bored during a long meeting that you doodled all of the meeting notes? Or maybe you find yourself tapping your foot or flipping your hair when anxious or repeating comforting sounds when overwhelmed.
Whether you are aware of what stimming is or not, these actions are all examples.
We all engage in these behaviours from time to time, but they are more common among neurodivergent individuals, especially autistic and ADHD individuals.
Although stimming is something that we all engage in, it is often misunderstood and wrongfully viewed as self-harm.
But stimming is not a “quirk” or “symptom” that needs to be fixed. Instead, it is something to be supported through neurodiversity-affirming care.
Particularly for autistic, ADHD, and neurodivergent individuals, stimming is an essential tool for navigating a world that feels overwhelming and doesn’t fit the needs of your neurodivergence.
In this guide, we’ll delve further into why people stim, who stims, the difference between affirming and medicalized perspectives on stimming, and ways to support your own or a loved one’s stims.
But first, we have to learn what stimming is to get to the other parts. So let’s delve into this below.
What Is Stimming?
Stimming, also known as self-stimulatory behaviour, involves repetitive movements or vocalizations.
These stims involve unconscious behaviours, meaning that the person will engage in these behaviours without necessarily thinking of doing so. They are often automatic responses to internal cues like excitement, stress, or overwhelm.
It can be subtle, like tapping fingers, or more noticeable, like hand-flapping or rocking. You also may bounce your leg during a stressful call, twirl your hair when concentrating, or pace when processing a tough conversation.
These self-stimulatory behaviours can help a person regulate their sensory input, emotions, or focus.
If you have ever engaged in any of these behaviours, you were engaging in stimming. Despite being most commonly associated with autism, this is a natural part of human behaviour. Everyone stims.
However, for neurodivergent individuals, especially autistic and ADHD individuals, stimming often has a deeper purpose for sensory and emotional regulation.
Why Do People Stim?
There are lots of reasons why people may engage in stims. For neurodivergent individuals, their reasons include, but are not limited to:
Regulating Emotions: Autistic individuals, in particular, are more likely to report emotional regulation as a reason for stimming. In one study of adults who stim, participants said it’s a helpful coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety (72%), overstimulation (57%), or to calm down (69%).
Maintaining Attention or Too Little Stimulation: ADHD individuals often face challenges maintaining attention on a task, especially if the task is boring or mundane. Stims can add a bit of novelty or stimulation to a task and help the person maintain focus.
Expressing Emotions: Some people seek to release positive emotions, such as excitement or joy. This may involve jumping up and down when you win an award.
Self-Soothing During Stress or Overwhelm: Neurodivergent individuals are more prone to becoming overwhelmed during stressful situations. Stims help to regulate the nervous system and bring a sense of safety and calm.
Regulating Sensory Input: Tuning out distracting noise or grounding the body
Coping With Changes: Autistic individuals often thrive on routine and repetition. If there are too many changes or demands occurring at once, it can feel overwhelming. Stims can add a sense of repetition to the environment and help the person to cope with the stress involved during the change.
Wanting to stop or reduce pain
It’s Enjoyable: Some people engage in stimming because it makes them feel good and brings them joy.
The reason for your stimming doesn’t have to be grand. These behaviours are adaptations that allow people to meet their internal needs in a world that often isn’t accommodating or accessible to people with various sensory needs.
Who Is More Likely to Stim?
While stimming is common among all individuals and across all neurotypes, certain individuals engage in these self-stimulatory behaviours more often. These include:
Individuals with anxiety, PTSD, or trauma
Those with sensory processing disorders
Non-speaking individuals
Stimming is also a common behaviour in people who haven’t been told to suppress these behaviours in the first place, or for those who feel safe enough to show their neurodivergent traits and unmask.
Examples of Stimming Across the Senses
Stimming isn’t limited to one form of behaviour. It engages all the sensory systems and involves:
Auditory Stimming
Humming
Whistle
Repeating words/phrases (echolalia)
Making clicking or squeaking sounds
Listening to the same song on repeat
Continuous throat clearing
Visual Stimming
Blinking
Eye-rolling
Lining up objects
Watching spinning objects
Turning lights on and off
Tracking objects with the eyes (i.e., staring at the stars)
Tactile Stimming
Hand-flapping
Finger-tapping
Stretching fingers
Clenching and unclenching the fists
Skin rubbing textures (plush toys, fabric)
Touching hair, skin, or objects repetitively
Using weighted blankets or fidget toys
Vestibular/Movement Stimming
Rocking, bouncing, pacing, twirling, or spinning
Swinging or jumping repetitively
Dancing or hand-flapping when excited
Olfactory and Taste Stimming
Smelling objects or clothing
Chewing gum or chewing jewelry
Eating strong-flavored snacks repetitively
Repeated smelling or licking
Can You Control Stimming?
In the past, healthcare providers and traditional approaches viewed stimming as something to eliminate or minimize. This is especially true when the behaviour is socially stigmatized or misunderstood, such as doodling during a “professional” meeting.
The Medical Model Approach
Frames stimming as “non-functional” or “inappropriate.”
Encourages suppression or redirection without consent.
Uses behaviour modification tools (e.g., ABA therapy) to “reduce” stimming.
Assumes eye contact, stillness, and quiet are the default norms.
The intent behind the model may have been good, but the effect was quite harmful. When people who use stimming as a means to self-regulate are told to stop doing this, this can lead to a decrease in overall functioning and shame around neurodivergence.
The Neurodiversity-Affirming Approach
In recent years, the understanding of stimming has improved, and society has shifted to a neurodiversity-affirming approach, which aims to foster understanding and acceptance for stimming as a means to regulate the nervous system. This model:
Recognizes stimming as a valid form of self-expression and regulation
Avoids pathologizing behaviors that are non-harmful
Prioritizes consent, safety, and autonomy
Supports the person’s right to stim in ways that feel good to them
Seeks to accommodate needs rather than eliminate traits
In this model, we view stimming as a natural part of human functioning, and we encourage people to support their nervous system in the way that feels best for them.
Stimming and Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is the ability for someone to manage and regulate their emotional and physiological states. For neurodivergent individuals, stimming may be an intentional tool used for these purposes.
Stimming can help with:
Grounding the body during a meltdown or shutdown
Releasing built-up tension
Creating a predictable pattern in chaotic environments
Improving concentration by occupying a sensory channel
Fostering a sense of control over one’s nervous system
Preventing emotional dysregulation and burnout.
Stimming and Connection to Joy
Stimming can sometimes be about self-regulation. But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes, people seek to celebrate their positive emotions.
Joyful stimming may include:
Flapping hands when excited
Spinning in circles out of happiness
Vocalizing or repeating happy phrases
Jumping, bouncing, or dancing
Can Stimming Become Dangerous? Is It Ever Helpful to Redirect a Stim?
Most of the time, stimming is harmless and used as a way to process sensory information or regulate your emotions and thoughts.
In these instances, these behaviours should be encouraged, and no management or intervention is required.
But sometimes stimming can rise to the level where there may be a risk of harm to self or others, such as head banging.
In these circumstances, the aim is to recognize that there is a need behind this behaviour, which is usually self-regulation. The goal is not to suppress these behaviours but to offer safe alternatives, such as swapping headbanging with using a weighted pillow.
The goal is always regulation, not conformity. Ask: Is this stim causing harm? Or is the reaction of others the real issue?
The Impact of Stigma on Stimming
Society often teaches neurodivergent individuals to suppress their stims so that they appear more “normal” or fit in with societal norms.
This pressure to hide your neurodivergent traits is known as masking. If an individual is forced to hide their stims, it can cause negative impacts, including
Disconnection from bodily cues
Loss of identity or authenticity
Stimming and Intersectionality
Stimming is more common among individuals who face increased pressure to mask. This is true for marginalized individuals who experience ableism, racism, and other forms of discrimination. For example:
Black autistic individuals may face harsher consequences for public stimming.
LGBTQ+ individuals may be further misunderstood when stimming.
Disabled BIPOC often experience surveillance and a lack of safety while self-regulating.
Creating stim-friendly environments must include anti-oppressive frameworks that prioritize safety, equity, and justice.
How to Support Your Stims
If you are stimming, you can support yourself by:
Creating stim-friendly spaces (e.g., quiet corners, cozy textures, noise control)
Using stim tools: fidget toys, chewables, weighted blankets, and stim jewelry
Allowing yourself to unmask in safe company
Tracking what helps or hurts your nervous system
Practicing self-compassion when you feel judged or misunderstood
Giving yourself full permission to move and sound how you need
Sample Tools for a Stim Kit
Tangle toy or stress ball
Chewable jewelry
Sensory putty or slime
Noise-canceling headphones
Essential oils or lip balm
Glitter jars or bubble timers
How to Support Others Who Stim
If you’re a parent, educator, friend, or clinician, consider these affirming strategies:
Don’t shame or discourage stims.
Ask before redirecting any stim, even with good intentions.
Model acceptance by treating stimming as normal.
Educate others about the purpose of stimming.
Do not give ultimatums. (e.g., “You need to stop.”)
Let children stim in public without correction, and support their autonomy.
Remember: stimming may be someone’s only available coping strategy at that moment.
Book a Free Consultation With Blue Sky Learning
Stimming is not a problem to be solved. It’s a form of communication and strategy for navigating a world not built for neurodivergent minds.
Whether you stim to soothe, express, regulate, or celebrate, you are worthy of support as you are.
If this blog resonates with your experience, Blue Sky Learning has a team of neurodivergent coaches and therapists who offer compassionate care that values your stims.
Book a free 20-minute consultation today to explore how to build safer environments for your body and mind. Email hello@blueskylearning.ca or visit the link below.
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