Autism and the Urge to Overshare: Understanding Neurodivergent Communication
- Kaitlyn Boudreault
- 4 days ago
- 6 min read
Do you sometimes find yourself feeling as if you need to share every thought, feeling, or experience you have in great detail, even if other people are not expecting it?
Perhaps you feel a strong urge to overexplain yourself and share as much information as possible because you feel like it will help others understand your situation more.
For some people, this could be the result of anxiety, trauma, or some other reason. But for others, it is a sign of the way their autistic brain operates.
This urge to overshare, also known as “infodumping” to some, is common for autistic brains. This involves the tendency to talk for way too long and/or share things in far too much detail.
At Blue Sky Learning, we understand that this oversharing is often a reflection of a brain wired differently, which results in differences in the way a person communicates.
The neurodiversity-affirming therapists and coaches at Blue Sky Learning don’t treat oversharing as a flaw to fix. Instead, it is seen as a meaningful way your brain communicates and interacts with the world.
In addition, this blog will explore what oversharing looks like in autistic individuals, why autistic individuals experience the urge to overshare, and how to navigate this and honour your communication style.
Why Do Autistic Individuals Overshare?
There is no single cause for oversharing among all autistic individuals. But there are some common reasons.
Let’s explore the common causes for oversharing among autistic individuals below.
Communication and Processing
Neurodivergent brains often process information differently. This can create a strong urge to verbalize thoughts and experiences in detail.
Oversharing may serve multiple purposes:
Processing information internally: Talking aloud helps your brain organize thoughts.
Connecting with others: Detailed sharing fosters understanding and meaningful social connections.
Regulating emotions: Expressing feelings can reduce anxiety, excitement, or overwhelm.
Honesty and Directness
Many neurodivergent individuals prioritize honesty and transparency, often without a filter. You might feel compelled to tell someone everything that’s on your mind at once.
This tendency reflects your values of clarity, trust, and directness, not social naivety.
Oversharing can also be a way to:
Make sense of your own experiences.
Ensure that your perspective is fully understood.
Avoid miscommunication or misunderstanding.
Recognizing this as a communication style rather than a flaw is an important step toward self-compassion and self-advocacy.
Neurodivergent oversharing also often comes from a desire to be truthful and clear. Some common examples include:
Explaining processes in detail so others can follow
Providing full context for decisions or feelings
Sharing experiences without leaving gaps
This pattern is not about seeking attention. It's about aligning your communication with your values and sense of integrity.
Passion and Hyperfocus
Intense interests or hyperfocus can drive oversharing. When something captures your attention, your brain may focus entirely on it, prompting detailed explanations or stories.
For example:
Explaining a favorite topic in great depth
Sharing step-by-step processes for a hobby or skill
Describing experiences from your perspective with precision
This behaviour reflects deep engagement and excitement, not self-centeredness. Neurodivergent brains often use hyperfocus to connect more meaningfully with topics and people they care about.
Emotional Release
Emotional regulation differences can contribute to oversharing. Expressing everything at once may help manage strong feelings, whether it’s:
Anxiety about being understood
Excitement about an idea or event
Frustration or overwhelm
Talking through emotions allows your nervous system to seek balance and relief. Oversharing can be a form of self-soothing and emotional processing, not attention-seeking.
Difficulty Reading Social Cues
For some neurodivergent individuals, subtle social feedback may be harder to interpret. This can lead to uncertainty about how much is “too much.”
You might continue sharing because:
Your brain hasn’t registered that the other person is disengaged.
You are deeply attentive and invested in the conversation.
You want to ensure clarity and connection.
This reflects engagement and attentiveness, not insensitivity. Learning to notice speech and nonspeech cues can help balance sharing with listening, but it’s not a reflection of social incompetence.
Self-Advocacy and Safety
Past experiences, including masking or needing to explain yourself repeatedly, can create habits of over-explaining. Oversharing may serve as a strategy to feel safe and understood.
For example:
Providing context to avoid being misinterpreted
Explaining your thought process in a work or social setting
Sharing personal experiences to establish trust
This is a form of self-advocacy, not social impropriety. Oversharing in these cases helps create predictability and security in interactions.
Strategies to Navigate Oversharing
Sharing generously is a sign of trust, safety, and authenticity, not a flaw.
At the same time, there may be moments when you want conversations to feel more balanced, collaborative, or regulated for your own comfort and energy.
Below are some neurodiversity-affirming approaches you can use when you want more choice and ease in how you communicate.
1. Self-Awareness (Noticing)
Oversharing often comes from human needs. These needs could involve connection, clarity, nervous system regulation, or enthusiasm.
Instead of trying to “stop” these moments, you can simply notice what’s happening in your body and mind. Ask yourself the following questions to understand yourself better:
What emotions are coming up?
Am I excited, anxious, or trying to bond?
Am I info-dumping because I feel safe (which is a good thing)?
This awareness allows for choice over how to proceed.
If you are sharing from a place of trauma or anxiety, you may want to consider mindfulness strategies or the STOP technique before sharing further.
But if the sharing comes from a place of safety, this is a good thing, as long as the other person also consents to the sharing of this information.
2. Intentional Sharing (Supporting Expression, Not Shrinking It)
If you want conversations to feel more balanced or collaborative, you can structure your thoughts in ways that empower both you and the other person, without reducing your natural communication style.
Try:
Sharing ideas in small, natural chunks to keep the dialogue flowing.
Pausing occasionally to check in: “Does this make sense?” or “Want me to keep going?”
Offering a brief summary when you want to stay on track, not to “fix” your speech.
These strategies help your needs be understood and help others engage meaningfully.
3. External Supports (Co-Regulation Tools, Not Behavioural Cues)
External cues aren’t reminders to “hide” your traits. They’re grounding tools to help you stay connected to yourself while communicating.
Examples:
Holding a notebook, a fidget, or a pen to anchor yourself.
Jotting down incoming thoughts so you don’t feel pressured to say everything at once.
Using a physical gesture like touching your hand or taking a breath as a regulation moment, not a correction.
Oversharing is not a flaw. It’s a communication style rooted in authenticity, openness, and enthusiasm, all of which are deeply valuable traits in neurodivergent adults.
Offer yourself kindness:
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not doing it “wrong.”
You are learning ways to honour your needs while navigating systems built for neurotypicals.
5. Create Communication Boundaries That Protect You
Oversharing can also happen when you feel responsible for filling the silence or caretaking the emotional tone of a conversation. You can support yourself by reminding yourself:
You don’t have to fill every gap.
You don’t owe explanations you’re not ready to share.
You can redirect with, “I’ll stop there for now.”
Boundaries help you feel safe, not restricted.
6. Seek Out Regulation Before or During Conversations
If you’re unfocused, activated, or emotionally heightened, sharing can snowball. Supporting your nervous system helps your communication feel more grounded.
Try:
A few deep breaths
A grounding object
Moving your body briefly
Drinking water
7. Use Meta-Communication (Talking About How You Talk)
You can honour your style by naming what’s happening in real-time:
“I’m excited. I might be talking a lot.”
“I jump around when I have a lot of ideas.”
“Tell me if you want me to slow down or expand.”
Meta-communication is empowering because it removes shame and keeps connections open.
8. Surround Yourself With People Who Value Your Communication Style
Oversharing often fades naturally when you feel genuinely understood. Seek people, communities, and environments where:
Passion is welcomed.
Info dumps are celebrated.
Emotional depth is safe.
Your voice is not “too much.”
Affirming environments reduce pressure and support authentic expression.
FAQs
Is oversharing a problem in autism or ADHD?
No. Oversharing is a natural expression of neurodivergent communication. It often serves processing, connection, and emotional regulation purposes.
How can I balance oversharing with social expectations?
Use self-awareness, structured sharing, and mindful listening to communicate effectively while maintaining authenticity.
Does oversharing mean I’m seeking attention?
No. Most oversharing is purposeful, helping neurodivergent brains process, connect, and regulate emotions.
Book a Free Consultation With Blue Sky Learning
Do you want to support understanding your communication style or navigating social interactions as an autistic individual?
Book a free 20-minute consultation with one of Blue Sky Learning’s neurodiversity-affirming coaches or therapists to create a personalized plan for communication strategies and self-advocacy.
Email hello@blueskylearning.ca or book on our website.
References
Boucher, J., & Happé, F. (2019). The Neurodivergent Communication Style: Understanding Social Differences in Autism and ADHD. Routledge.
Geurts, H. M., & Jansen, M. D. (2021). Emotional processing and expression in neurodivergent adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 51, 244–257.
Miller, L., & Leggett, J. (2020). Hyperfocus, attention, and social communication in ADHD and autism. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 587.
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