Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Traits, Causes, and Coping Strategies
- Kaitlyn Boudreault
- May 29
- 6 min read
Updated: Jun 8
Do you experience rapid mood swings, unstable relationships, fear of abandonment, or chronic emptiness?
You might be navigating Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a complex mental health and neurodivergent condition that influences how you think, feel, and relate to others.
Individuals with BPD may face significant challenges in work, school, and relationships across their lifespan.
If you or a loved one is living with BPD, working a neurodiversity-affirming therapist in Ontario, Canada, or through virtual care can tailored strategies to improve emotional regulation and daily functioning.
Let’s explore what BPD is, its core traits, causes, and coping techniques so you can better understand and manage this condition.
What Is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health and “Cluster B” personality disorder, and is also recognized as part of the neurodivergent spectrum.
A hallmark of BPD is a strong fear of being abandoned, even if the threat is only perceived. This could lead lead to extreme efforts to avoid rejection, including rejecting others first to avoid feeling rejected yourself.
It’s also characterized by:
Intense, unstable relationships
Unstable sense of self
Impulsivity or risky behaviours
Intense anger
These patterns of behaviours involved with chronic conditions like BPD are typically persistent, inflexible, and can impair functioning in academic and occupational areas.
Moreover, these behaviours can strain relationships and make forming close bonds with others difficult.
core Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder
The traits of BPD vary in intensity and type from person to person. But to be diagnosed with BPD, a person must display at least 5 of the following 9 traits:
An intense fear of abandonment and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment
Paranoia or dissociation during stressful periods
Impulsive and risky behaviours in at least two areas (e.g., work, finances, relationships)
A pattern of unstable and intense relationships with others
Recurrent suicidal thoughts, threats, or self-harming behaviours
Rapid mood swings and emotional dysregulation
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Intense, inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger
Causes of Borderline Personality Disorder
There’s no single cause, but researchers believe that BPD is the result of a combination of genetic, environmental, and neurological factors, including:
Genetics: Family history of BPD or other related disorders increases risk
Brain Structure and Function: Irregularities in emotion regulation and impulse control areas of the brain.
Environmental Factors: Childhood trauma, neglect, abuse, or unstable family dynamics.
Neurobiological Factors: Imbalances in neurotransmitters (e.g., serotonin) and hormones involved in stress.
Who does BPD affect?
BPD symptoms typically begin to emerge during adolescence as a person goes through puberty and their personality develops and matures.
But most symptoms don’t start to be fully noticed until adulthood. As a result, diagnosis usually occurs after age 18.
Here is what we know about the demographics of BPD:
It can affect anyone, but it's more common in people with co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, or ADHD.
75% of diagnosed cases are assigned female at birth (AFAB), though men may be underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed with conditions like PTSD or depression.
Risk Factors for BPD
You may be more likely to develop BPD if you’ve experienced:
Genetic predisposition such as a parent or sibling with BPD
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) such as abuse, neglect, parental loss, or mental illness in caregivers
Unstable attachment or chronic emotional invalidation during developmental years
How Common Is Borderline Personality Disorder?
While the prevalence varies depending on the country and source, Statistics Canada reports that between 6% and 15% of Canadians are affected by a personality disorder.
BPD is one of the most commonly diagnosed personality disorders. It is more frequently diagnosed in AFAB individuals, although this may be due to gendered bias in diagnostic criteria.
Famous People With Borderline Personality Disorder
Several well-known individuals have publicly shared their BPD diagnosis:
Angelina Jolie
Lady Gaga
Brandon Marshall
Carrie Fisher
Jim Carrey
Marsha M. Linehan (developer of DBT)
BPD and Neurodivergence: How Are They Connected?
BPD often co-occurs with other neurodivergent conditions, including:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
This overlap in traits, such as emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and social challenges, between these co-occurring identities can complicate the diagnostic process and make misdiagnosis possible.
Autism and BPD
Both autism and BPD may involve:
Difficulties with emotional regulation
Relationship difficulties
But they stem from different causes differ. Autistic individuals may develop BPD traits over time due to chronic social trauma and exclusion.
ADHD and BPD
These conditions share traits such as:
Impulsivity
Emotional dysregulation
Relationship challenges
Trauma and BPD
Many people with BPD have histories of trauma and adverse childhood experiences, which increases the risk for trauma-related conditions like PTSD and CPTSD. For this reason, trauma-informed care for BPD is essential.
BPD vs. Bipolar Disorder: What’s the Difference?
Although both involve mood changes, there are key differences:
Feature | BPD | Bipolar Disorder |
Fluctuations in mood and behaviour | Intense, short-lived episodes | Longer-lived mood episodes (mania or depression) lasting for days to weeks |
Triggers | External stress or relationships | Internal mood cycling |
Energy Levels | No mania/hypomania | Significant changes in energy levels to states of elation, referred to as mania/hypomania |
Understanding these differences is crucial for accurate diagnosis and treatment.
Long-Term Impacts of Untreated BPD
BPD is a serious condition that can affect many aspects of your life. Without proper support, BPD can lead to:
Job loss or frequent career changes due to difficulties managing emotions, stress, impulsivity, and relationship conflicts in the workplace.
Legal Issues such as arrests and court involvement from impulsive behaviours.
Relationship Challenges such as martial issues, separation, or divorce due to emotional instability and fears of abandonment.
Interrupted or incomplete education due to emotional instability and impulsivity decisions related to your mental health challenges.
Self-harm, suicidal ideation, and frequent hospitalizations due to emotional challenges.
Effective Therapies for Treating BPD
Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, is an effective treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Different therapy methods are tailored to the unique challenges of BPD, and working with a skilled therapist can provide essential tools for managing intense emotions, reducing impulsive behaviors, and improving relationships.
Developed by Marsha M. Linehan, DBT is a gold standard treatment and neurodiversity-affirming therapy that combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices. It includes:
Emotion regulation: Reduce mood swings and increase emotional awareness.
Distress tolerance: Build coping tools for intense emotions without resorting to self-destructive behaviours.
Interpersonal effectiveness: Improve communication, relationships, and boundary-setting skills to foster more stable connections.
Mindfulness: Learn to stay present and reduce impulsivity and emotional reactivity.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a structured, goal-oriented therapy that helps examine and challenge unhelpful thoughts and beliefs. CBT helps individuals:
Identify and challenge negative thought patterns
Replace cognitive distortions with balanced thinking
Understand how thoughts influence emotions and actions.
Develop healthy behaviours and long-term coping strategies
Manage co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, or addiction
Coping Strategies for BPD
Living with BPD can be challenging, but many people find ways to manage their BPD traits. Alongside therapy, here are self-regulation tools you can use daily:
Engage in Activities Based on Your Mood
There are different self-care methods based on how you are feeling.
When angry: Punch a pillow, rip paper, or take a cold shower.
When sad: Journal, watch a feel-good movie, or listen to uplifting music.
Use Relaxation Techniques (TIPP)
A DBT strategy to regulate your emotions:
Temperature (apply cold to skin)
Intense exercise
Paced breathing
Progressive muscle relaxation
Track Your Moods and Triggers
Use a journal or app to identify triggers and patterns
Review patterns to develop preventive coping strategies
Booking a Consultation With Blue Sky Learning
Are you or someone you care about living with BPD, ADHD, autism, or another neurodivergent identity?
Blue Sky Learning’s team of neurodiversity-affirming therapists and coaches offers compassionate, personalized care to help you manage emotional dysregulation, improve relationships, and live with greater stability.
Schedule a free consultation today:
📧 Email: hello@blueskylearning.ca
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